Bet you didn’t know, I’m a mermaid in these jeans…
For as long as I can remember I have loved mermaids. I can still remember as a little kid reading Hans Christian Andersen’s, “The Little Seamaid” and then endlessly rewatching my favorite movies, “Splash” and later on Disney’s, “The Little Mermaid”.
However, “Splash” inspired me to action first, after seeing Daryl Hannah as the beautiful mermaid Madison; take kitchen salt and pour it into a bathtub – she did this of course, so that she could secretly take a break from being human and unfurl her gorgeous mermaid tail!
Well, when I was little, I was so silly, after watching “Splash” I was immediately convinced of course, that all I needed to reveal myself, a mermaid – was some salt too! I couldn’t believe I had never thought of it before! So there I went and sneaked some salt from my mother’s kitchen; literally taking the entire canister of Morton Salt and hurrying back to the bathroom – where I proceeded pouring liberally most of the salt into the tub!
Imagine my surprise, when I set foot into my salty mermaid’s bath – and immediately didn’t just like Daryl Hannah shed my legs for a gorgeous mermaid tail! Well, I still didn’t doubt that I was a mermaid. No way! I just needed to soak a little while longer of course! Or maybe, just add some more salt…
So with the salt canister left nearly empty – I soaked for a long time in the salty bath waiting for my skinny legs to hurry up and change into my mermaid tail. I soaked until my fingers were wrinkled and pruney and the water was less than warm. But even then, when I still didn’t change to reveal my mermaid tail, well, I still didn’t doubt I was a mermaid. Because I knew ~ I just needed obviously to be in real salty ocean water and not some lame table salt filled bath tub!
But ocean waters are hard to come by – if you’re eight years old and living in the mountains of Colorado. So, I made do with sneaking more salt – at least until salt too became too hard to come by – after my mother grew tired of me taking it from her kitchen and “wasting” it in the bathtub!
And so, with my lame baths forgiven, and with out anymore Morton Salt – I never the less continued to lay in the bath for entire afternoons – all summer long…
Consequently, my mother still unable to comprehend I was really a mermaid – remained nervous all summer long…insisting I leave the bathroom door cracked just a little – just so she could hear me splashing around, while she was in the other room.
But mostly, I like to lay there under the water, holding my breath for as long as I could – while enjoying the quiet stillness of the water – and the way the few odd sounds from around the house that found their way through the tub to me, sounded funny and distorted; especially the sound of my mother’s foot loudly making a THUMP! She thumped her foot from time to time – just so I’d make a splash – and upon hearing my splash, she would know I wasn’t drowned!
Silly mother, I’m a mermaid!
Years later with the Colorado mountains long behind me and a sandy California beach stretched wide before me…
I, at last, saw the true salt waters I had needed all along!
At last, true ocean waters – beckoning me to reclaim my mermaid self!
I quickly took off my shoes, stripped off my blue jeans,
and ran out to greet the waters…
(Photo Credits: Daryl Hannah in Splash!)